Tell Me Again About How You Don t Got a Man

mayo 17, 2022 Publicar un comentario

The Other Guys is a 2010 buddy cop spoof directed by Adam McKay, and starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg.

Detective Allen Take chances [edit]

How practice they walk away in movies when it explodes backside them? There'south no way! I call bullshit on that! When they flew the Millennium Falcon out of the Death Star and information technology was followed by the explosion - that was bullshit!
I never actually put my foot all the way down to the ground with the accelerator like that. It got me slightly angry.
(in a ballet school) I call back we all experienced our own ballet today. A ballet of emotion, and feelings.
(while interrogating Ershon) I'm gonna make you swallow a plate of human being shit!
Yous turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare!
Gator needs his gat, you lot punk-ass Bowwow!

Detective Terry Hoitz [edit]

Captain, you really want to disarm this guy? Take out the batteries in the calculator.
I'k a peacock - you gotta permit me wing!
And when I come back and bust your ass, we are locking David Ershon in the Federal Reserve!
(while showing badge) Police shithead!

Detective PK Highsmith [edit]

Did someone telephone call nine one HOLY SHIT?!!!!!
All the gun fights, all the car chases, all the sex we don't desire to accept with women but we have to...is all due, to what you guys do.
Ay, ay, ay! Ay, y'all shut your confront! If nosotros wanna hear y'all talk, I will shove my arm up your donkey and work your mouth like a puppet!
(while flight in a motorcar through the air towards several drug runners who are firing machine guns at him every bit he returns burn down with a pistol in each hand) You lot accept the correct...to remain...SILENT...simply I wanna hear you lot SCREAM!

David Ershon [edit]

This was a very clever idea.
(with a gun pointed at him) Wait! Computers. What if - i 24-hour interval... they were in charge?
Gentlemen, I can get you obstructed-view tickets for Rock of Ages. Fifty-fifty I admit that's non very temping, but I'1000 not made of tickets goddammit!

Narrator [edit]

Danson and Highsmith shoot, bulldoze, and sex with style. They're stone stars. Then you got your jokers, your ball-busters, your vets... and the other guys.
Cops nonetheless argue to this day why Danson and Highsmith jumped. Perchance it was just pride, having survived and so many brushes with expiry. Maybe their egoes pushed them off. I don't know. Merely that shit was crazy. Either way, there was a pigsty in New York City, and information technology needed to exist filled.
It was the rex of the mutt cases, just Allen and Terry had worked it like stars. Within 24 hours of learning near Ershon's scheme and Lendl'south massive losses, the regime issued TARP funds to bail out Lendl. They were likewise big to fail. Ershon now resides in Palomino Federal Correctional Facility in Florida. He nonetheless invests. Currency's just different. Roger Wesley was linked to the Beaman murder past security cam footage which Martin and Fosse hadn't checked. It simply showed the back of their heads. But Alan'southward Faceback app was able to get a match to their faces. Terry married Francine. He played harp at the reception and it was beautiful. He had learned how to play information technology in the eighth grade to make fun of the fairy that lived upward the street. Terry asked Sheila to be his best man, merely she declined. Let'southward be honest, we all wanna exist superstars and hotshots. Only guess what? The people that do the real work, the ones that make the departure, you don't see them on Goggle box or on the forepart page. I'm talking virtually the day-in, day-outers, the grinders. Come on, man, you know who I'k talking near: the other guys.

Captain Cistron Mauch [edit]

Listen, guys. I'm working 2 jobs. I'thousand working here, and I got another job at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Okay? I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU and so he tin explore his bisexuality and become a deejay. Now the last thing I need is a ballistics report in the unit. I'k just gonna enquire you guys. Please, come up on. Really. Just think about it. Merely be smart.
(to the Bed Bathroom & Beyond staff) First things first: the new bath mats are here. 2d matter: there'due south a serial rapist in Crown Heights... sorry, that's from my other job, ignore that. No, await, don't ignore information technology, specially if you live in Crown Heights. Walk in pairs.

Roger Wesley [edit]

There are iii things I love in this globe: Kylie Minogue, modest dimples just to a higher place a woman'southward buttocks... and the fear in a human being's middle who knows I'g virtually to hurt him.
Listen, If you don't shut up, I'll cut your ear off with a butter knife.
Someone'southward been playing Grand Theft Auto.

Dialogue [edit]

Danson: (hanging on to the roof a speeding car) Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof?

Highsmith: I think y'all can chalk that upwardly to bad lifestyle choices.

Highsmith: You thinkin' what I'yard thinkin' partner?

Danson: Aim for the bushes? [Highsmith nods, they fist crash-land, and then both jump to their deaths]

Hoitz: Alan, heed to me. Danson and Highsmith are gone. Their desks are empty. Someone has to make full those seats. That someone is us, okay? This city's dying for a hero.

Chance: Is it?

Hoitz: Yeah.

Gamble: What near nine million socially-witting and unified citizens, all just stepping upward and doing their office?

Hoitz: Equally a little kid, didn't you wearing apparel upwardly and play cops and robbers?

Gamble: I'll tell you what I did equally a piddling child. I went to school and made my bed. And at age 11, I audited my parents. And believe me, there were some discrepancies, and I was grounded.

Hoitz: What the hell are you?

Gamble: You're mad at u.s.a., huh, Gene?

Mauch: First off, don't telephone call me Gene. I'thou your captain.

Mauch: Guys, do you think the "Be Smart" speech?

Gamble: Sure.

Mauch: All correct. Well, What did y'all do? What'd you do nearly it?

Gamble: The contrary. Nosotros were non smart, Helm Cistron.

Mauch: It's just "Helm." Only "Captain." It'south not "Captain Gene." I don't have a kiddie show. That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene."

Hoitz: Y'all know what I only did? I just walked out that door, saw a couple detectives, and I was nearly to commencement bad mouthing you backside your dorsum, only I stopped myself, because my pops taught me that a man who talks backside somebody's back is a coward.

Risk: Wow, I actually capeesh that.

Hoitz: Skillful, 'cause I'thou gonna tell you directly to your face.

Chance: No. You don't have to.

Hoitz: No, I don't similar you. I retrieve you're a false cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? Information technology sounds feminine.

Take chances: Hmm.

Hoitz: If nosotros were in the wild, I would attack you. Even if yous weren't in my food concatenation, I would go out of my manner to attack you. If I were a panthera leo, and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the centre of the ocean and freaking consume you! And then I'd blindside your tuna girlfriend.

Gamble: [suspension] Okay, offset off, a lion swimming in the bounding main? Lions don't similar water. If y'all'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that'd make sense. But you observe yourself in the ocean, 20-human foot waves, I'm assuming information technology's off the declension of S Africa, coming upwards against a full-grown, 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? You lose that battle. You lose that boxing nine times out of ten. And approximate what? You've wandered into our school of tuna, and nosotros now take a sense of taste of panthera leo. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated.

Hoitz: Yeah?

Gamble: And said, "You know what? Lion tastes good. Let'south become get some more king of beasts." Nosotros've developed a system to establish a beachhead and aggressively chase y'all and your family unit. And we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring...

Hoitz: How yous gonna practice that?

Gamble: Nosotros volition construct a serial of breathing appliance with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time, merely an hour, hour 45, no problem. That will give usa enough time to figure out where you alive, go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and so stalk you lot. Yous just lost at your ain game. Y'all're outgunned and outmanned. [goes back to typing] Did that go the style you lot thought it was gonna go? Nope. [Hoitz throws Take chances's hot coffee on his shirt]

Hoitz: What the hell is this?

Hazard: It's my car. It'southward a Prius.

Hoitz: I literally feel like I'grand driving around in a vagina.

Hoitz: You feel that, Allen? Huh? That tingling in your assurance? Big metal butterflies fluttering effectually your tum?

Chance: Are yous sure you lot don't take testicular cancer?

Sheila: Hello.

Take a chance: Hi.

Sheila: You must exist Terry. I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey, but this dinner was tricky.

Hoitz: Who are y'all?

Sheila: I'thou Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife.

Hoitz: Come up on, seriously. Who is that?

Sheila: His old lady.

Gamble: Sweetie, it'south a workstation.

Sheila: Got information technology.

Gamble: And you come in here, dressed like a hobo, it's distracting.

Sheila: I know y'all're working. I'm then sad.

Hoitz: Come on, seriously.

Hazard: Come on, what?

Hoitz: Who is that?

Gamble: That's the old... That'southward the old ball and chain.

Sheila: Become over here. [she tries to kiss him merely he pulls abroad]

Gamble: Not... Not right now.

Sheila: Okay.

Gamble: Look, they're not all first-circular picks, okay?

Hoitz: Come on, are y'all gonna tell me who that is?

Hoitz: Well, Christine, this is a lovely business firm.

Christinith: It's Christinith. Are y'all stupid or are you deafened?!

Hal: Christinith!! You idiot! You come to our house, you lot become my married woman's name correct!

Hoitz: What?

Hal: Christinith!!

Hoitz: Permit'southward hear it from the superlative, every detail.

Ershon: I call up the best style to tell this story is by starting at the finish, briefly, and then going back to the commencement; and so periodically returning to the end, mayhap giving different characters' perspectives throughout. Just to, you know, give information technology a chip of dynamism . Otherwise it'due south just sort of a linear story (makes yawning gesture)

Risk: Just tell us what happened!

Ershon: I lost a bunch of coin for some people and now they want it dorsum.

Gamble: Excuse me, but y'all're under abort, okay?

Ershon: What?

Gamble: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say can exist used, umm [to Hoitz] What'south the next function?

Hoitz: Every bit a floatation device.

Gamble: Every bit a floatation device. You know what? That's very funny. I've never Miranda-ed anyone before.

Hoitz: Really?

Ershon: Are yous guys for existent? Am I being Punk'd?

Wesley: Who the hell are all these people? I was only expecting one man.

Ershon: Y'all know, they're just some people I owe coin to who wanted to exist here.

Wesley: Who are they?

Ershon: Well, they are some Chechen patriots, entrepreneurs. And the black chaps are some businessmen from Nigeria.

Wesley: You owe money to the Nigerians and Chechens?

Ershon: Yep. Yes, I do.

Wesley: You're a work.

Ershon: Thank you.

Ershon: Y'all could let me go, and i'll give you ten million dollars each. It'southward non a ransom.

Gamble: Of grade it'southward a bribe! You lot're offering to pay united states money to not do our job.

Ershon: (shakes head) Not a ransom.

Ershon: Hey, Douglas. How'southward the wife?

Douglas: She died.

Ershon: Attaboy!

[They institute Risk's Prius]

Hazmat Officer: Well, here she is. They left her under an overpass for the dark.

Hazard: Y'all find anything?

Hazmat Officeholder: Yeah. We found a lot of stuff. From actual fluid and pilus samples, we determined that a agglomeration of one-time, homeless dudes had an orgy in the car.

Risk: Oh, God.

Hazmat Officer: Yeah. You know what that's called when they practise that in there? That's called a soup kitchen. Information technology'due south pretty crude stuff. Non long afterwards that, a mama raccoon came along and gave birth on the flooring.

Take chances: What about fingerprints? You find whatever fingerprints?

Hazmat Officeholder: Nope, couldn't get a one.

Investigator: Found a cell telephone.

Hazard: Yep, that'southward mine.

Hoitz: Any signs of a struggle or spent shells?

Hazmat Officer: No. Believe me, everybody that was in on this orgy was more than than willing. In fact, they even left you a note here. "Thanks for the F-shack. Beloved, Dirty Mike and the boys." Hither's something we found. Nosotros found near a dozen unscratched lottery tickets. No fingerprints or zippo. Bank check that out. Yep, information technology's a real shame, y'all know. I got myself a Prius. It'due south a hell of a car.

Gamble: It'south my first brand-new automobile. I've never endemic a new car.

Hazmat Officer: Watch out. In the back, in that location's a infant mouse in a used condom. Really gross.

[The cops surround Wesley]

Martin: Drop it, or exist dropped, homeboy!

Fosse: I promise you like prison food... and penis.

[Hoitz and Gamble barely survive an explosion]

Gamble: I can't hear! I can't hear! There'southward blood blisters on my hands! Oh, my God! How do you walk abroad in a movie without flinching when information technology explodes behind them? There'southward no style! I call bullshit on that! When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit!

Hoitz: Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars! That was all accurate!

[Hoitz throws down his reckoner and stomps on it in anger]

Adventure: What are y'all doing?

Hoitz: We just handed all of our testify over to the bad guys' lawyer!

Gamble: [in his Gator phonation] Are yous a big human? Huh? I'thousand talking to you lot!

Hoitz: What?

Gamble: Do you wake upward in the mornin' and say, "I'thou puttin on my big boy pants. Look, I'm wearin' a belt. I got big boy pants on."

Hoitz: No.

Gamble: Put on a little jacket, you go, you accept you lot tiffin crusade you have big male child pants on? You lot got your big male child pants and your snack? I can say big loud things! I can be demonstrative!

Hoitz: Terminate!

Gamble: [starts stomping on Hoitz's computer] We don't, we don't do that shit!

Hoitz: You're scarin' the shit outta me man, stop information technology!

Run a risk: Is this how you acquit yourself? In a democracy?

Hoitz: What the hell are yous doing, man?

Chance: [in normal voice] I'one thousand so tired of you lot getting angry and yelling all the fourth dimension. It'due south exhausting! Information technology's like I'k partners with the Blob.

[Hoitz and Gamble after interrogating Ershon]

Gamble: Look, I'yard actually sorry virtually that. I just... I saw how aggressive you were being, and I idea "Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that since we're doing 'Bad cop, bad cop'".

Hoitz: What? No, I said "Skilful cop, bad cop". I'k the bad cop, you're the good cop.

Gamble: Okay, then there information technology is. That's it. I thought y'all said "Bad cop, bad cop".

[Hoitz and Gamble get attacked past masked figures on motorbikes]

Hoitz: Scout out! Columbian drug lords!

Gamble: Where are yous getting this from?

[Hoitz takes them all out single-handedly]

Gamble: Wow. Imagine where yous'd be if you hadn't shot Jeter.

Tagline [edit]

NY's finest were busy.
When the tiptop cops are busy, our only hope is the other guys.
Who were y'all expecting?

Cast [edit]

Will Ferrell as Detective Allen "Gator" Hazard
Mark Wahlberg as Detective Terry Hoitz
Eva Mendes as Dr. Sheila Ramos Gamble
Michael Keaton as Captain Gene Mauch
Steve Coogan as Sir David Ershon
Ray Stevenson as Roger Wesley
Samuel 50. Jackson as Detective P.K. Highsmith
Dwayne Johnson as Detective Christopher Danson
Lindsay Sloane as Francine
Natalie Zea every bit Christinith
Rob Riggle as Detective Evan Martin
Damon Wayans, Jr. as Detective Fosse
Viola Harris every bit Mama Ramos
Rob Huebel as Officer Watts
Brett Gelman equally Hal
Bobby Cannavale as Jimmy
Andy Buckley as Don Beaman
Ben Schwartz as Beaman's Assistant
Adam McKay as Dirty Mike
Zach Wood as Douglas

Cameos

Anne Heche equally Pamela Boardman (uncredited)
Ice-T as Narrator (uncredited)
Horatio Sanz as gallery owner
Thomas Middleditch as gallery attendee
Derek Jeter as himself
Brooke Shields as herself
Rosie Perez as herself
Tracy Morgan as himself

External links [edit]

smithfacticked.blogspot.com

Source: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Other_Guys

Smith Facticked